


그렇더라고요

by jbaecob



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slice of Life, i may have a knack for making people cry. this is not scientifically proven, i'm not tagging [REDACTED], lapslock, this is short and it was written on tumblr first
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-05-04 13:47:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14594355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jbaecob/pseuds/jbaecob
Summary: "You’re so pretty when you smileSo every time you lose that smileEven if I have to give my allI want to give it back to you" - Day6 (When You Love Someone)





	그렇더라고요

**Author's Note:**

> i should probably start a collection to the things i'll certainly post in the future. but let's not get ahead of ourselves here  
> so! i've been working on longest fics for a while but i'm not sure if i'll ever finish them, so everytime i write something short like that it feels right to post - that way i don't lose motivation to write more. i hope yall like it even if it's tiny and not inovating at all- i'm also posting this because i've been so incredibly busy with college that writing about my babies seems like the only thing that's not making want to explode in vexation

jacob wasn't romantic. he sure felt the pure urge of love, and passion too, as much as he didn't like to admit, but- but there was always something interrupting him from showing it. sangyeon was his boyfriend for almost five months, and he's starting to feel too stuck on a constant crisis, where he can't say what he's thinking about. sangyeon is not pressuring in any way, nor he's seeing the other try and say things out of nowhere to "wake him up", or anything like that. jacob's just... a bit concerned about his own mind.

when he unconsciously starts to show sangyeon signals (showcased by avoiding - questions, touches, private time), it always amazes him that they didn't even need to fight before sangyeon was able to grab him by the hand and lead him to a talk.

one of his most valuable treats is that he was honest. it's not something he needs to practice or keep caution to; his soft spoken side never lets him hurt anyone, though. but (and a big one) he knows he's not the best at communicating. conveying things through speech is perhaps one the most difficult obstacles for him - and sangyeon knows that.

that's why, albeit his trials, sangyeon comes to him when he's low key hiding from an upcoming prolonged interaction. jacob's not proud.

it's a tuesday, and he hates tuesdays because it's the only day in the week where he's not able to play guitar; whether he's too busy or too tired. when he comes home from his part-time job, the first thing he notices is sangyeon, who usually stays in the couch doing whatever, is not there. he goes straight to his room to find him there, stroking the chords of his beloved guitar, and a multi-reasoned blush spreads hotly through his cheeks and neck. sangyeon chuckles at that, but he doesn't say anything other than, "c'mere."

jacob leaves his bag on the table and walks directly to sangyeon, and it's probably because he missed him without even noticing, he grabs his guitar and replaces it with himself instead. sangyeon would have to look up to stare at him, but he didn't feel that daring so he curled up against his boyfriend's chest and murmured, "here." his heartbeat was erratic.

"is my baby tired?" sangyeon, running his hands through jacob's locks, murmured. "is this what's making you distant?"

jacob stays silent because he doesn't think he'd be able to answer to that in an eloquent form. but he breathes deeply anyway, to calm his tripping heart, to clear his mind - sangyeon waits. 

"not exactly," he mumbles against the fabric of sangyeon's t-shirt. he dives in the scent instead of talking more, feeling sangyeon's fingers start a light massage against his shoulders. "what if you get tired of me?" he feels sangyeon's body stiffening around his, a little but very noticeable disbelieving sound choked in this throat. jacob tightened his embrace but it was out of defensiveness.

sangyeon was too good. his presence was one of the things that made jacob feel safe, like he was his only one, the most precious, the one who couldn't be no one else except himself. he was always there and always ready, incisive but his rigidness was all a façade, being soft and malleable to his touch. sangyeon could have anyone and he must know that.

"jacob, hey," his tone was suave, jacob didn't want to look at him. "it's okay. i don't know- i have no idea of what's going through your mind right now," sangyeon clutched his sweater and jacob felt a pang of guilty spreading acid pain in his lungs. "it's- you're an enigma, you know that? i- god, is it even possible to get tired of you? to get tired of your silly laughs and your randomness?" sangyeon nudged his side and his breath was strained. "how could i ever be tired of you, hm? your eyes, this little nose, your lips, and your kiss, and your hair- how could i get tired of your music and your sweet voice? jacob," now he was really trying to detach their bodies, and jacob's hands was in his face for god knows what. he was ashamed of not being able to see it, he was ashamed because he has no control of what his mind makes him think, and he's ashamed because sangyeon is not the type to say things like that. they usually show more than talk, but lately jacob couldn't even do the slightest.

"i'm sorry," he realizes his throat is too tight. he can't gulp down the choked breath; then he breaks into a pitiful show, crying because there's nothing else to say, and of course sangyeon is there. he's always there.

their chests are pressed together, ragged breaths against each other's neck, and sangyeon is the calmest between the two, but jacob is able to feel his shoulder getting wet with lone tears. he made sangyeon cry because he wasn't able to show his love for him. he sniffs, "i'm sorry, yeonie," and his hands starts to caress sangyeon's back delicately.

sangyeon presses a kiss on the junction of his neck and shoulder, probably tasting his own tears, and jacob closes his eyes, realising how tired he felt. both physically and emotionally.

"i don't get why you're saying sorry, love," he murmured. jacob took a deep breath.

"for not being able to show you. for not being here like you do- for not-" he's suddenly shushed, sangyeon gently rocks them back and forth, holding him like he's an overgrown puppy. "please, don't even go further on that. jacob," sangyeon's eyes are teary, like his own, but it holds a strong gaze. he was supposed to look fragile, but even now, his hands are firm against jacob's cheeks. they look at each other and jacob wishes he was able to fully see it - but if he's reading right, his boyfriend's eyes show alarm, appreciation and utterly disbelief. he drags his two thumbs on his skin, drying his tears, and instead of showing jacob why he is wrong, they kiss.

the way sangyeon holds his face has him flabbergasted; but the actual contact feels light, delicate, pure. he notices how their lips mold together, sangyeon's full ones pressed in the junction of his. there's no hurry, no teeth clashing, no hushed breaths, no wandering hands - just their lips together, moving slowly, bordering from deep to shallow, tongues lazily feeling each mouth.

jacob's hands goes with care, gently carding thought sangyeon's hair, passionately kissing him back to show him- if it's the way, then he should grab the chance. he doesn't realize he's crying again until sangyeon interrupts the lip lock to murmur at him, drying his face once again, kissing his eyelids, his nose, his cheeks and lips.

he feels sangyeon's forehead against his, but his eyes are closed, so that way they stay.

"i love you." he whispers just for them, lips colliding slightly. "i love you, no matter what makes you think i won't keep loving you," he places a hand on jacob's cheek, and if he had his eyes open, he would see the way sangyeon melted at the tiny kiss he left against his palm.

"i- i love you too," jacob blurts out, "more than anything." and it's like he feels like crying again, but instead he chokes on a sigh of relief; he breathes deeply while sangyeon just holds him close, tighter than possible, and finally opens his eyes.

his blurry vision can't let him see how bright sangyeon is smiling, but he can picture it perfectly in the walls of his mind because it's carved. sangyeon is painted against his eyelids and everytime he closes his eyes, he thinks about his hands, glinting eyes, mouth. he thinks about their hugs and how sangyeon is so used to lift him up when they hold each other that it feels strange when they don't. he memorizes the perfection of his touches and the objective singularity of his actions. he loves sangyeon and loves the way he talks, the way he thinks and the way he shows how it's done.

"want to listen to you, i miss your voice," sangyeon says in the space between their faces. jacob slowly open his eyes, not succeeding when he tried to avoid sangyeon's, and he bites his lower lip in worry.

"there's so much... i couldn't say even the stupidest things," sangyeon nods, understandingly. he says, "let's take a shower. you just came home," and jacob, as much as he wants to really take that shower, for as his face is starting to feel sticky, clings onto sangyeon's arm. "c'mon jake, we can talk while i wash your hair. how bout that, um?" he smooches jacob's liptail instead of his lips, in the middle of trying to get up.

jacob felt his cheeks growing hot, suddenly missing the random kisses they share through the day, just because they can, and he seriously doesn't understand how could he deprive himself from such thing.

sangyeon is by the door, holding the doorknob, and asks, "you coming?" with the sweetest voice, holding his gaze with tenderness, searching in his eyes a sparkle that he gave seconds later. he beamed.

"on my way."

**Author's Note:**

> i love sangcob and i'll try to make jacob stop crying next time cmON I DONT EVEN LIKE ANGST WHAT AM I DOING


End file.
